There is actually a real phobia known as Antefamaphobia which is a fear that everyone is talking about you. Those who have not experienced this type of fear may automatically assume this is related to a kind of paranoia but this is very different. Perhaps the biggest difference between phobias and paranoia is the fact that paranoia tends to be persistent. Yes, they are both an irrational fear of something but paranoia is a persistent feeling which is different to a phobia which can come and go – often depending on the environment.
Those who suffer from any type of phobia will tell you that they know when an episode is likely to occur. The can feel a buildup of stress, frustration and anxiety and then the physical reactions will kick in.
What is Antefamaphobia?
In reality we have all walked into a room, seen everybody stop talking and automatically assume they were talking about us for whatever reason. The difference between a one-off occasion and a phobia is that more often than not those suffering from Antefamaphobia will feel this way every time they walk into a room where people suddenly turn around – surely a natural reaction as someone walks into a room? In reality the phobia is leading their life and leading their mental state of mind which can lead to a whole array of other issues.
Symptoms of Antefamaphobia
There are numerous symptoms which can emerge for those suffering from Antefamaphobia which include:-
• Intense anxiety
• Dizziness
• Excessive sweating
• Difficulty in communicating
• Claustrophobia
While any of the above symptoms in isolation may not necessarily be anything to worry about, once you start experiencing two, three or more symptoms each time you walk into a room then it may be time to seek help. There may actually be occasions where you are the topic of conversation but in reality very few people are interested in what we’re doing and our lives. They have their own worries, their own concerns and while some may make sarcastic comments and one-off jibes, this is very rarely carried on.
The impact of antefamaphobia
The fear of everyone talking about you can have a huge knock-on effect to not only your working life but also your personal life. Put yourself in the situation of an antefamaphobia sufferer and it is not difficult to see how it can impact huge areas of your life such as:-
Social settings
Whether you suffer from antefamaphobia or not, there is still a need to socialise with friends, family and acquaintances. The problem is that the inclusion of alcohol and a more relaxed setting can see other parties more “loose” with their comments and antefamaphobia sufferers a little more conscious of their condition. Put the two together and it can create an explosive atmosphere!
Shying away from the issue is not a long-term solution although neither is overexposure which can lead to other issues. So, light-hearted and relatively short social gatherings might help but be careful who you mix with. Friends, friends and more friends!
Work meetings
Those who suffer from a fear that everyone is talking about them can often experience these feelings at work meetings. They may see some people huddled in a corner talking, they may be late for the meeting and automatically jump to the assumption that they are being talked about. The reality is that this is very rarely the case but once the phobia kicks in it will literally take over. This can lead to disagreements with work colleagues and even clients and in some cases put long-term employment prospects in danger.
Home setting
Unfortunately, antefamaphobia has no boundaries and it will very often seep into your home life and home setting. You may see friends and family talking and automatically assume they are talking about you. A subtle glance in the wrong direction and you jump on the “fact” they are talking about you, what are they saying, what are they planning and what have you done?
In many ways this fear of everyone talking about you is a huge mental challenge. You can tell yourself that nobody is talking about you, and you are experiencing a degree of paranoia, but once the phobia takes over your body the mind rarely listens. In some ways this type of phobia is best described as a runaway train, once it starts it is extremely difficult to stop.
Is antefamaphobia a common fear?
The reality is that the vast majority of us will have walked into a room, whether at work or in a social setting, and just the wrong glance from an individual prompts the question are they talking about you. There will be rare occasions when people are talking about you but so what? If they have any real issues they will ask you and those who don’t aren’t really your colleagues and friends are they?
So, we have individuals who experience this type of scenario every now and again, we have phobia sufferers living with antefamaphobia and then we have those who are paranoid. It is very important to differentiate the degree of anxiety created during these three very different stages. We have phobia in the middle, and the other two are the real extremes.
Softly softly approach to antefamaphobia
For many people who suffer from a fear that everyone is talking about them it can be difficult to clarify the situation without seeming aggressive and overanxious. Perhaps the best way is to make a joke about what people are talking about, laugh it off and move on. For some phobia sufferers this can be very difficult because once the phobia kicks in they become anxious and concerned and can’t always control the tone of their voice or even what they are saying. So, those who have a fear of people talking about them need to take a softly softly approach.
Involve yourself in relatively small social circles, small meetings and one-on-one chats. Where you have genuine concerns ask the question, but make a joke of it and don’t show any sign of a phobia/paranoia or aggression.
Conclusion
Antefamaphobia is a real and potentially debilitating phobia/fear which many of us will experience to varying degrees within our personal and working lives. Some of the more competitive industries such as stockbroking can often attract this type of phobia and some people may move onto the next step which is paranoia. Some of us are made for particular careers, employment sectors and not all of us will enjoy a very competitive environment. Some thrive on it, there is no doubt, but for those experiencing antefamaphobia this is probably not the best environment in which to be spending a significant amount of your time. After all, life is too short!
