Ignorance towards certain phobias?

[Jade]

I have a phobia of certain foods to the point where I’ve had to make nicknames for these certain foods because I can’t even say the word of them. Unfortunately a lot of people that don’t really know me can’t take this seriously and find it somewhat amusing.

A perfect example is when I was food shopping with my friend and we were discussing my aversion to one of these foods when the cashier at the till over heard. She then went on to question me about it and found it all rather amusing. I obviously was not impressed so I just ignored her as she continued to talk and smirk. When i went into the same supermarket a week later she had remembered me and started quizzing me again as I got to the checkout.

I understand that some people cannot understand the reason for certain phobias but I really don’t find this acceptable behaviour. I think people like this should just be ignored because they really are just ignorant to laugh at someone just because they don’t understand their mindset. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

 

[Mark]

Hi Jade

This is not nice to hear about however I think a different approach is needed. If this happened to me I would look to inform the lady of my phobia and try to explain - if she persisted in laughing and thinking it was funny then I would embarrass her with a few smart put downs. The problem is that until we tackle this ignorance it will continue and she will question the next customer, the next customer, etc.

 

[Jade]

Yes I think your probably right. I don’t think I handled that as well as I should have but I was quite embarrassed. If I do see that woman again and she does make a comment I will say something to her because I’d hate to think of her doing that to someone else and if she got away with it with me she might be worse to someone else. The thing is she was quite a bit older than me so she should have known better. Very immature and I think I will tell her that next time, thank you Mark.

 

[Mark]

I wouldn't say you handled it wrongly but I think that ignorant people need to be educated about mental health illness - they may be there one day themselves. If you had a broken arm in a plaster they wouldn't snigger and laugh at you.

 

[GH0STP03T]

Yeah I agree with Mark, in no way did you handle it wrong. The fact that the cashier listened to your conversation and then proceed to get involved in something that didn't concern her was both rude and ignorant on her part.

 

[Mark]

The world is full of ignorant people and until they are educated about mental health issues these situations will always arise - which is a sad reflection on society.

 

[kelbel]

That's awful for her to feel it's ok to question you and snigger - especially in such a public setting! I think sometimes when people feel uncomfortable though, they can start to laugh or giggle in because they actually feel a bit uncomfortable and don't know how to react to the information that are being told. My best friend is actually like that. She nervously laughs in quite a few situations where anyone else would think it's inappropriate to do so. Funnily enough, i've never felt particularly comfortable confiding in here about my agoraphobia, and i think that's because i know how she reacts to things. I actually told her that the other week and she seemed quite insulted that i thought she wouldn't be understanding.

I think sometimes people don't realise how they can come across, and perhaps telling this checkout woman that laughing when someone is talking about a personal phobia (no matter what it is of) is not a good way to react because anyone that suffers with phobias finds them hard enough already. If you still get a rude response from her, i would talk to her manager so at least you know you can go back in there without being quizzed.

I actually had someone be incredibly rude to me when they found out i suffered with agoraphobia. It was a guy who was interested in dating me, then did a u-turn when he found out. I totally understand and accept how that may have put him off me, but he was just so rude. 24 hours later he actually sent me a text to apologise for his reaction. I simply replied saying "That's fine, don't worry about it. Your reaction showed me that you aren't my type of person anyway. Good luck with your dating." lol

 

[Jade]

Thank you Kelbel for your suggestions on how to deal with this. I will give all the suggestions I've recieved for this situation a go if it happens again. As for the the man interested in dating you I think you did the right thing! For anyone that suffers with a phobia its important to have a partner that will be understanding and support you, obviously this guy wasn't cut out for that and that was his loss.


I have a question about dating actually. Do you think two people suffering from phobias would be a good match in a relationship as there would be mutual understanding or do you think that you need someone who doesn't suffer with a phobia to be the voice of reason? Just an interesting thought, would be nice to hear others opinions on this matter.

 

[GH0STP03T]

Thank you Kelbel for your suggestions on how to deal with this. I will give all the suggestions I've recieved for this situation a go if it happens again. As for the the man interested in dating you I think you did the right thing! For anyone that suffers with a phobia its important to have a partner that will be understanding and support you, obviously this guy wasn't cut out for that and that was his loss.


I have a question about dating actually. Do you think two people suffering from phobias would be a good match in a relationship as there would be mutual understanding or do you think that you need someone who doesn't suffer with a phobia to be the voice of reason? Just an interesting thought, would be nice to hear others opinions on this matter.

I think it would depend on the phobias and the people involved. So in one instance, (even with the couple sharing a mutual understanding of each others phobia) what could happen is that they end up bringing each other down. An endless stream of negative talk and 'can't do it' attitudes. But with that being said, a couple who share similar problems could find themselves in a much happier, motivated and supportive mindset - relying on one another to get themselves through.

 

[Jade]

I think it would depend on the phobias and the people involved. So in one instance, (even with the couple sharing a mutual understanding of each others phobia) what could happen is that they end up bringing each other down. An endless stream of negative talk and 'can't do it' attitudes. But with that being said, a couple who share similar problems could find themselves in a much happier, motivated and supportive mindset - relying on one another to get themselves through.

I think your right in that it would depend on the phobias and also the people involved. It would be whatever worked for you really, I think its all down to personal preference. Some may find having someone who shares their mindset and can relate to their phobias and anxieties may be ideal but others may find opposites attract in their case.