Those who suffer from severe phobias will be well aware that anxiety and stress can make a difficult situation, perhaps manageable, simply unmanageable. For example, those who suffer from driving phobias often find relief from simply opening the window, cooling down the vehicle and focusing on the road ahead. Before we take a look at ways that you can cope with phobias during the coronavirus lockdown, we need to understand what is happening when we have a severe phobia reaction.
What is a phobia?
The best way to describe a phobia is an intense fear of something that in reality poses no real danger. Some people suggest that the body’s basic fight or flight response becomes confused thereby giving out signals that non-threatening scenarios can actually be threatening and dangerous. There is a real danger of misdiagnosis a relatively minor fear with a severe phobia. For example, many of us have a fear of spiders and other insects but not necessarily a phobia which prompts an extreme reaction.
Perhaps a better way to put this would be, say for example you had a fear of enclosed areas and had just received acceptance for a job which required you to use a lift. If your phobia prompted you to make alternative arrangements, potentially walk up and down 10 flights for example, then this is extreme, this is a real phobia and a real problem.
When suffering from a phobia in isolation you can feel alone, desolate with seemingly no help to hand. However, phobias are a lot more common than you might presume. It is by no means a reflection on your character or your physical/mental well-being. We are all different, we all have our unique characteristics and if you see your phobias as part of you and something you can control then you are at a great starting point.
Fear and phobia fear
As we touched on above, there is a huge difference between normal “fear” and that prompted by a phobia. In many ways it comes down to the body’s “fight or flight” response which is deep seated within our brain. This prompts the body to respond to potential dangers by addressing them or leaving the scene. A great example, one often mentioned, is that of fight or flight when you see a dog. Yes, it is natural to be afraid of a big snarling huge vicious dog but not so of a small poodle pup on a lead. While these are extreme examples, they give you an idea of how the body would normally react in that scenario.
Some examples of “normal fear” include:-
• Looking down over a high mountain edge and feeling butterflies
• Concern when driving home in heavy rain even though you are driving safely
• Nervousness around snarling vicious dogs
• Feeling a little nervous ahead of your visit to the dentist
These are all perfectly legitimate fears which the vast majority of people will experience on a regular basis. So, what makes phobia fears different?
Some examples of a phobia fear include:-
• Turning down a great employment opportunity because you would have to use a lift and you have a fear of heights/confined spaces
• Removing yourself from family excursions because claustrophobia stops you from going on a car, bus, train or taxi journey
• Avoiding dental treatment because of a fear of needles even though the treatment is required urgently
• Turning down a role at your friend’s wedding because you have a fear of public speaking
These are just some of the examples often published to show the difference between traditional fear and phobia fear. Perhaps the best way to describe phobia fear is a reduction in control, you no longer feel in control of the situation and this prompts your flight response. Those who describe the feeling of a phobia will regularly talk of an increasing build-up of stress and anxiety until they can no longer cope. This is when their flight response kicks in.
The dangers of labelling children with phobias
Before we move on to discuss ways of coping with phobias during the coronavirus lockdown, it is worth mentioning the subject of children’s phobias. If you cast your mind back, as a child it was commonplace to be scared of:-
• Loud noises
• Monsters
• Strangers
• Clowns
• Extreme weather
• School
• Injuries
• Illness
This does not necessarily mean that a child had any phobias as the vast majority of these concerns will evaporate as they grow older. It is only when a fear of something begins to impact their everyday life, both home life and school life, and there future. This is the stage at which it is probably best to consult a professional to see what is happening, if there are any underlying issues and discuss potential treatment.
Physical and emotional signs of phobias
Any fear or concern will prompt a physical/emotional reaction but these can be extreme with regards to phobias. We have seen numerous research programmes carried out to highlight the signs and symptoms of phobias which can often lead to ways to control them. Some of the more common emotional symptoms include:-
• Need to “escape” – often the need to return home
• Overwhelming anxiety/panic attacks
• An out of body experience
• The fear that your heart is going to explode and you will pass out
• A lack of control, your reaction is over the top but you can’t control it
• A fear of the fear attached to your phobia
There are numerous physical symptoms which have been reported by phobia sufferers around the world. Some of the most common include:-
• Heart palpitations
• Hot/cold flushes
• Stomach churning
• Dizziness
• Lightheaded
• Breathing difficulties
• Chest pains
When many phobia sufferers look back after the episode has calmed down/come to a close, they very quickly realise that these physical symptoms were exaggerated due to their body’s response. They were not on the verge of a heart attack, they were unlikely to pass out and the breathing difficulties were related to stress. However, at the time it does not feel like that!
Living with and treating phobias
There are some phobias you can live with which will not have a significant impact on your life and do not require treatment. Others which have a huge impact on your mental and physical well-being should be addressed sooner rather than later to avoid more deep-seated and additional problems. The medical profession advises that you should seek treatment for your phobias if:-
• An irrational fear has been with you for more than six months
• You recognise your response is excessive and over the top but have no control
• You feel deep-seated fear, anxiety and panic as a consequence of your phobias
• They make you physically change your way of life
• Impact your regular routines
This list is by no means exclusive but it does give you an idea of the physical and mental reactions that severe phobias can prompt. We will now take a look at some of the ways of coping with your phobias, some of which are controversial. What works for one person may not work for another as this is not a one-size-fits-all scenario.
Learn to calm down when phobia fear strikes
Whatever your phobia, if you can master the skill of controlling your breathing, focusing on something other than your phobia and taking control again, then you can very often quickly calm down. If you have ever suffered from a phobia you likely have felt an episode coming on before it actually begins. Your stress level starts to rise, the stress increases and you can feel your “body taking over”. If you’re able to nip this in the bud before it gets any worse, via calming techniques, then you can conceivably control the phobia before it controls you.
You will also notice that focusing your mind on something different will “take the edge off” and can bring the level of anxiety/stress down to a level you can control. This may be something as simple as looking at a dog playing in a field, moving to another room on your own, calming music, eating something or even thinking of your parents, grandparents and family/friends. Once you click out of the continuous vicious circle of increased anxiety, increased stress, increase anxiety, increased stress then you break the back of the phobia and your (un)natural response.
Challenge your negative phobia thoughts
Those with a fear of heights are obviously concerned about falling even if they are strapped in and there is zero chance of an accident. Telling your brain that the risks are much lower than its natural reaction would indicate is not easy but it is possible. Tell yourself, you are strapped in, there is nowhere to go and you will not have an accident. Again, once you retain control of your thought process you can then reign in these negative thoughts and flood them with positive ones. Some experts believe there are three categories with regards to the phobia thought process:-
• Catastrophe
Those with deep seated phobia issues will often focus on a worst-case scenario which will increase their heart rate, stress and anxiety. For example, those with a fear of flying will most likely have a fear of crashing despite the fact that evidence shows it is more dangerous to drive a vehicle on the ground. This is fact; this is information in the public domain and something that you will need to funnel into your brain over time.
• Generalising
This is one of the more dangerous elements of the phobia thought process, generalising what happened in the past with what may happen in the future. For example, if you forgot to lock your door many years ago then this may have brought on anxiety which means that you check your door is locked numerous times before leaving the house. This despite the fact that you know fine well you locked the door. Your mind will focus on the time you did not lock the door and not the thousands of times afterwards when everything was okay.
• Telling the future
If we could really tell the future then we would make a fortune! We hear of many phobia sufferers unable to socialise in supermarkets and concerned that if something happened they would “lose it”. What is the worst-case scenario? A friend or colleague walks up to you and says hello, you say hello back, and then you both go on your merry way. While that is possibly oversimplifying the situation, it is pretty much what tends to happen.
Facing your fears bit by bit
One of the most controversial methods of tackling phobias is to gradually expose yourself to your fears, your phobias and try to desensitise your body. This is not a therapy for everybody as it has been known to have the opposite effect and double down on existing phobia. There are three stages to this particular therapy which are:-
• Listing your fears
This element of the therapy is very interesting because you take it stage by stage. For example, if you were concerned about shopping in crowds then you would look at deciding to go to the shop, travelling to the shop, entering the shop, carrying out a small shop, checking out, go to your car and then go home.
• Building and climbing your phobia ladder
The next stage involves actually going through the list of actions one by one to get used to them and in a way desensitise yourself. You may find it is possible to focus on each individual stage and go through the whole process in one go. You may find it best to go through the first two or three stages, then go home, try again the next day and continue to build. We are all different and different approaches might need to be taken.
• Repetition
Just as you need to repeat things in real life to get better at them, the more you repeat the process of, in this example shopping, the easier it will become. You may have difficult days, you may need to go back one step to go forward but you have made a start.
Focusing on the positive
As you slowly begin to come to terms with your phobia and look to retake control you will along the way pickup positive thoughts which you can focus on. Maybe focus on that last plane journey you had where there were no issues and your phobia failed to grab control. Maybe remember that friendly dog next door which came to see you every day as opposed to the one which jumped at you and nearly bit you. The more you control your body’s physical/emotional reactions the more you will control your phobia and the less impact they will have on your life.
Nobody is suggesting that living with phobias or learning to tackle phobias is easy but it is possible. There is evidence to suggest that you can “reprogram” your fight or flight response to be more appreciative of the overall situation as opposed to your phobia fear alone.
